30th Wedding Anniversary

Today is our 30th wedding anniversary. We were going out Saturday to celebrate, but I was in the middle of the great winter sickness - that lasted 4 days for me.
I wanted our 30th to be special - to do something we've never done before.
And so I sit here alone. Been deathly sick for 4 days. Haven't taken a shower in two days. Had to make soup for supper - still can't eat anything solid. I worked all day from home. Joe went in to work, then went off to teach his martial arts classes. I still have some Christmas shopping to do. Joe got me a wonderful card for our anniversary, I got him nada. Not a word from any of the kids about our anniversary. 30 years is something to celebrate! When we got married so quickly with no honeymoon, just a night at a motel, did I envision I would be here in this place 30 years in the future? No - maybe I should have.

My weekend

The last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy at our house. Well since a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, really. Joe and I set aside Saturday to go to dinner to celebrate our 30th anniversary. Nothing, especially my work, is going to get in the way. We were going to P F Changs, one of my favorite places to eat - that we save for special treats. I took Friday off work because I'd already worked 43 hours so I tried to just be done.
I woke up Friday morning with a sicky belly as my grand kids say. I took all the Immodium I had, and it wasn't working, so I went to the store in the afternoon for more Immodium, Pepto Bismal, Ginger Ale, and pretzels. I was so thirsty I took a huge cup of water with me to drink. Without going into details, let's just say I didn't make it through my shopping trip. After trying to clean up, I got my cart and tried to check out. I felt like I was going to faint, and my vision was blurred by black spots. I asked the checkout girl if she could load my cart onto the belt - and handed her my credit card. The store manager came up and asked me if I felt OK. When I said no, he got me a wheelchair to sit in. We tried to call Joe, but Joe didn't answer, and I'd left my cell at home. (That becomes important later.)
The store manager asked me what I had to eat today - and I realized I'd had 1 piece of toast. He asked me if I wanted a candy bar, but I told him I had gushers in one of my bags, so he found them and handed me a pack. After I ate them I felt much better. The manager had someone load the groceries in the car, and I convinced him I felt well enough to drive.
In fact, while on the way home I decided to go to the post office and get our mail. So - at the post office, I grabbed the box key and went in. On my way back out I couldn't find my car keys. I had, in fact, locked them in the car, along with my purse with $700 in it, and the extra car key.
So - back into the post office to call Joe from their phone - since I forgot my cell. This time he answered, and I explained what was going on and told him my rescue was in his hands. He was able to get JR, who said he could be there in 20 minutes.
So - I went to the Okeana Mini-Mart where they got me a medal folding chair and a diet pepsi. For the next half hour I sat in the chair and chatted with 2 of the nicest people, summer teeth and all.
JR got me home, I took a shower and went to bed.
I was now in full blown sickness.

Out of the Blue

Yesterday my niece Lauren sent out a tweet - looking for suggestions for an amazing wedding DJ. I was thinking about that this morning on my way to work. Which led to me thinking how much Mom would have loved being there for Lauren's graduation and wedding and Steph's graduation next year. Out of nowhere, the tears started flowing, for just a few minutes. It makes me sad.

Mary - Our Lady Of Surprises

Our Lady Of Surprises
O, Mary my mother and Our Lady of surprises,
what a happy joy you caused the wedding guests, when you asked your Divine Son
to work the miracle of water into Wine
What a happy surprise for them, since they
thought the wine had run dry, I too Mary,
love surprises, and as your child,
may I ask you to favour me with one today.
I ask this only because you are
my ever caring Mother, Amen.
=====================

When Angels Rush In

Into this silent night
as we make our weary way
we know not where,
just when the night becomes its darkest
and we cannot see our path,
just then
is when angels rush in,
their hands full of stars

by Ann Weems

An Anniversary of Sorts

This weekend Joe and I are celebrating the 30th anniversary of our first date. I'm not sure of the specific day - but it was the weekend before my birthday. To mark this great occasion, we're going out on a date! We planned this earlier in the week, and I've been looking forward to it since then. I even got a little teary when I told someone at work about it.
So - we have a reservation at Bonefish Grill for 7:30. I'm excited! Joe and Les are in Michigan this weekend, we're all alone. Hmmm, what could possibly happen?

And on the 83rd Day

And on the 83rd Day - she rests. I am 83 days into my work year and taking my first official 8 hours in a row off - tomorrow. That includes holidays (which I worked through).
I am going to the paint store to pick out a paint color for the front porch, and Home Depot to buy dirt bags (LOL) to fill in some ruts from this winter. I am putting away my winter clothes - I think warm weather is here for a bit. Someone is coming over tomorrow to fix the hot tub. And tomorrow evening we are celebrating Curt's 40th birthday. Sounds restful to me!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is Mom's Birthday. I was up at 5:30 so I could make 7:30 Mass. It was peaceful and just what I needed. Got a little weepy twice - but otherwise I'm good.
I had an 8:30 appointment for my annual exam. After some talking to the doc, she remarked that my life has been crap for the last year. True dat. I also got a little weepy with her, but she was cool - said it was better to get it out than leave it in. As the day rolled on, though, I got less weepy - as my mind focused on the tasks at hand.
As I think about poor me, I am reminded of my 40 something friend Amy what had open heart surgery yesterday. She is doing well, thank God. Just puts things in perspective, ya know?

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is Dad's birthday. He would have been 84 today. Happy Birthday Dad. I miss you.

New Phones

Last Saturday we all got new phones. JR dropped his pone in a bucket of paint thinner and melted one. Our contract was up with Nextel, so we switched to Verizon. Much better service at home.
Joe and I each got a Palm Pre, JR and Les LG Chocolates. I guess I have finally reached the age where I can't work new electronic gadgets. The new phones have fixed my "talking on the phone while driving" habit - since I can't figure out how to call anyone - or how to find their number.
Yesterday I took a picture of a tree Joe and I planted last fall - I was able to upload it to facebook - so that was cool. Can't find where it resides on my phone though. I had to upload to facebook, and download to my PC.
The Palm Pre has lots of great features - if I can just figure out how to use them. And how to call someone.

On Good Friday, Honoring The Dead, Visiting Family

Yesterday was Good Friday. It was a beautiful day - 84 degrees and sunny. I left late morning to go to the cemetery to make a round of visits. I stopped first to buy flowers, and brought along a plastic Bengal cup as a vase. At old St. Joseph Cemetery I stopped first at Mom and Dad's place. I dropped off an Easter lily, and sat for a few moments, said some prayers. I actually didn't want to stay too long, I am still so sad that they are both gone. The next stop was Grandpa and Grandma Perzel - John and Mary Perzel. I dropped off some mums and said some more prayers.
My next stop was at the new St. Joseph Cemetery where I visited Joe's Mom and Dad, Bob and Ruth Kessen, dropped of more mums. Then I went on a search for Joe's brother Ron. In the past, I have not been able to locate him. But, following Joe's sister Donna's instructions, I found him this time. In the same section as Bob and Ruth, 2 1/2 trees up the hill, about 14 markers in from the road. Once I found him, I filled the Bengals cup with water and left some cut flowers for him. More prayers were said.
After my visit with the deceased family members, I stopped by Donna's house for a late lunch. My niece Kristin also came over, and a couple of Donna's friends. We ate fish from the Alabama Fish Market, sunned ourselves on the deck, and talked. For several hours. It was peaceful and relaxing.
I wondered if my actions dishonored the great sacrifice that Jesus made on that day, because I didn't spend the day in sorrowful prayer, contemplating His death. I think that I spent the day enjoying the life that Jesus died to give me, honoring the dead, and enjoying the living. It's all good.

Exhausted

I am exhausted. I am working 12 - 16 hour days - have been for the last 10 days. It looks like I have another week to go, if I live that long. I am working and sleeping.
My house has gone to hell. I've been working from home again for the past week, when my car died on the highway on my way home from work. It was finally fixed today, and I'm $300 poorer. Since the weather has warmed up, the snow melted, and it poured rain last weekend, the dogs have been enjoying a bit of digging in the yard. Yesterday they captured a mole - they were so proud. They come to the house covered with mud. Although I try to make sure everyone knows to towel off the dogs before they come in, sadly it's not always possible. My kitchen is covered with dry muddy dog footprints, and dried mud smears where they lay down. They also mucked up the living room carpet yesterday. It's so depressing. Saturday - on my 1 day off, the house was clean and sparkling. Today - 3 days later - it's a disaster. Today I complained (bitched) that no one else seems to know how to clean up. Another sad but true statement.
I'm going to bed, because I AM EXHAUSTED!

Friday

It's Friday, and the weekend is supposed to be sunny. Tomorrow I am going to Leah and Ty's basketball games in the morning. It's Leah's last game, Ty's second last. I need some recreation! I am swamped at work, and am having trouble getting rid of the stress each night. Last night I even dreamed of work. Sigh.
Joe, Les and I watched the movie - The Time Traveler's Wife last night. I was hoping for some easy going entertainment - but I didn't find it there. The movie was OK, but a bit weird, and I had to pay attention. So - that was a problem.
I'm hoping to work in the yard some in the afternoon - there are lots of sticks to pick up, and other things to clean up. It's supposed to be sunny and 50. Sunday I'll be working. Sigh.

Hello Happy Happy March!

February is over and I say "Good Riddance". It was full of snow and cold and dry noses and earaches and sore throats and hours in my back room working from home, while the space heater blasted and the snow piled up outside my window.
And now lovely lovely March is here! I feel warmer just thinking about it. Julie tells me her hyacinths are peeking out of the ground, and a friend in York, Pa says he has some daffodils coming up. See? It's a wonderful month to be alive!

The weekend

This weekend was pretty crazy. With Joe unable to do any lifting (nothing more than 5 pounds), many tasks that he usually does were left up to me. So - I brought in wood, hauled 3 loads of laundry up from the basement, drug in bags and bags of groceries. Let me say my back is killing me!
On a different and less whiney note, I did manage to collect 4 bags of stuff to pitch. I emptied out cabinets in my kitchen that I rarely go in to. I'm ashamed to say I even found a stash of sippy cups - hopefully from Ty and Leah, and not from my kids - the youngest will be 26 on March 29! I found a thermos and water bottles my boys used in sports - so they were ancient - and now GONE! The cabinet over my fridge is totally empty.
My total number of bags is now 7. I'm way behind.

Joe's Angiogram Update

Here's the latest news. Joe's angiogram was good. His heart is strong, and his arteries are flowing well. Having said that - the chest pains (angina) he's having is probably caused by clogged capillaries, which they can only treat with medicine. They have given him a new medicine, used for adults with chronic angina. He is doing well this morning, getting ready to take Rocky to the vet right now. Still having some chest pain, but taking things slowly.

Joe - Heart troubles again

Tomorrow we are heading back to the hospital for another angiogram for Joe. He has been experiencing cheat pains for most of this month, and has been holding out for an office visit that was supposed to be happening today. The chest pain seems to be worse than in the past. Last Thursday he had a stress test done at the cardiologist. Over the weekend, he was really doing poorly, so I encouraged him to call the doctor Monday morning. He found out the result of his stress test was OK, so that was good - but did not explain his pain. So the doctor cancelled his appointment and scheduled him for the angiogram. I know Joe feels they will certainly be putting in a new stent. I guess Friday will tell.

40 Bags Update

Since I posted on Ash Wednesday, I have completed a total of 1 bag. I have come down with a sore throat and earache, and have been feeling sick for the last 2 days. Today I am sonewhat better, so far. My goal is 6 bags by the end of day Sunday.

Dad's Memorial Weekend - The End

I was going to go through the weekend - day by day. But I am so far behind that I'm just doing a short post.
Thursday morning and most of the afternoon I sorted through pictures that we found under Mom and Dad's bed. I found many treasured memories, cruises, baptisms, First Communions, Weddings, Christmases. I sorted them by family, into 5 piles, and a separate pile for friends. While I was doing that, Carolyn and Bill ordered the food, and did more party prep. Bob arrived. He brought the frozen drinks fixings, so I put them together and got them in the freezer. Late afternoon I joined Carolyn at the pool for a little vitamin D therapy :-) . Carolyn, Bob and I had dinner at the Shrimp Shack, out by the airport. Bill worked at the clubhouse.

On Friday the energy kicked into gear as Susan and Elaine arrived. I went with Bob to pick them up at the airport. On the way home we stopped at Sam's to buy more party supplies. Elaine tried to work, and Bill worked for a short time at the clubhouse. There was a whirlwind of party prep. We all went to dinner on Friday night at one of Mom and Dad's favorite places - the Stone(something). We had a great time, and excellent food. I had grouper - the only thing I wanted to be sure I had on this trip.

Saturday morning I was very sad. I couldn't get past - this is the end. Maybe the last time I go to Ft. Myers. Certainly the last time it will be Mom and Dad's place. My plan was to sit around Carol and Steven's place and mope, until we had to do the final party prep. Carolyn ran a few errands, and called to see if I wanted to make a quick swing by the beach. I decided to go - moping was a bad plan - so Bill, Carolyn and I went to Ft. Myers Beach. Susan and Elaine went to get Elaine's hair cut, and buy plants for the table decorations. We all met back at the house. The UPS guy delivered Dad's forgotten Holy Cards ($90 to ship overnight) that Andy had sent on Friday. Work in the kitchen began, cleaning the serving dishes, prepping the salads. I found myself in the way in the kitchen, so I spent an hour trying to check in for my return flight - very frustrating. I went over the picture boards, reattaching the pictures that fell off, preparing them for the party. Meanwhile everyone else was at the clubhouse setting up the room. Around 2:00 I finished, went back to Carol and Steven's to prepare for mass.
The memorial party started with 4:00 Mass at Blessed Pope John XXIII church. Father Ronnie said the Mass - dad's favorite priest. Elaine, Susan, and I shed a few tears as the song Hear I Am Lord was sung. Father Ronnie sang the final blessing. Dad loved when he did that.
And then - the party started. Half of us went to the clubhouse, the other half back the the condo's to get stuff. We began to set out food - with the help of early arriving guests who were also at church. After all the stuff arrived, and the food and drinks table arranged, the meet and greet was completed, we began. Bill gave a great introductory speech - with notes from Carolyn on what to say :-). Elaine also spoke about Mom and Dad, about how they loved living in Florida, how they loved bridge, parties, and traveling. She spoke about Dad's ability to fix anything, and to help anyone who asked for his assistance. Many of his friends spoke to us about how they would be missed. I think the five of us spent most of the party circulating and visiting. Many times I was thanked for having this party. It seems that it doesn't happen very often after a person passes on, the Florida friends don't get an opportunity to come together to celebrate the life of their friend. We had laid out pictures of Mom and Dad with friends near the picture boards, and invited everyone to take what they wanted from the loose pictures. There were also stacks of bridge tallies. The last bridge person to leave got what was left of the tallies on the table. I can't list all who attended - we think about 80 people, but I can mention my cousin Bobbie Bravard and his wife Anne and their son Kelly (I think), Dan Cavanaugh and his wife Irene, Horst and Lily, Austin and Marilyn, Barb Blocker, and Peggy.

All too soon the party was over. We ran out of the frozen drinks, went through the wine and beer, had lots of left over water. How funny! We left some food for the superbowl party the next day, cleaned up the place, and went home. Funny how I can't remember anything after bringing in all the stuff.
Sunday Carolyn and I left early - around 5:00 AM for our flight at 7:00. We were back to the land of snow. Seven inches had fallen on Friday night in Ohio.

40 Bags for 40 Days

Today is the first day of Lent. This year I have taken up the 40 bags for 40 days challenge. I am committing myself to ridding my home of 40 bags of stuff during the 40 days of Lent. They can be small or large bags, but 40 bags it will be. I have also challenged Joe, JR and Les to meet or beat me on this challenge. The idea is to commit to 40 days of possibly uncomfortable “letting go.” I'll be keeping track of my (everyone's) progress on a paper attached to the fridge - so I have the commitment in front of me every day.

Today's bag location - my bedroom closet.

Wednesday in Ft. Myers

Early last Wednesday morning at 5:50AM Carolyn and I left from the Dayton airport. We landed in Ft. Myers around 10:30, rented a car, and headed for Mom and Dad's place. We met Bill at the club house - he had arrived on Tuesday. From there we headed to Mom and Dad's place. As we walked through the empty home, I was overwhelmed with sadness. This is really the end. Their home would never be the same again. Carolyn and I stayed at Carol and Steven's place - Mom and Dad's friends from England. At first, I wished we were staying at Mom and Dad's place, but as I thought about it, I realized it would have been hard for me to be surrounded by them all the time.
After we settled in, Carolyn and I went to Publix and got some catering information, and did a little shopping for breakfast foods. We bought fresh strawberries, pineapple, orange juice, English muffins and butter. I bought an umbrella - it was supposed to rain on Friday, and the last time I bought an umbrella I was in Ft. Myers for Mom's funeral.
That evening Bill, Carolyn, and I went to an Italian place called Starz, and shared a pizza. Later, back at the condo, we rummaged through Mom's Beanie Baby collection, and searched for family photos. I slept soundly after a long day.

A Trip to FLorida

I'm leaving early tomorrow morning for a trip to Ft. Myers. We are having Dad's memorial on Saturday, so I'll be there until early Sunday morning. I'm am so looking forward to the warmer weather, and hoping for some sunshine. I started packing last weekend, in between work troubles since I was on call. Now I need to repack because I took about 30 tops for 4 days - possible overkill. I don't think 4 pairs of shoes is overkill, though. :-)

New Glasses

This year I visited the eye doctor and ordered new glasses. I'm also trying new contact that have to be specially made because my eyes are so bad. By the time I was finished with the exam, contacts and glasses I'd spen $1000. Wow. Here are my new glasses. My contacts are ready yet.

Joe's Birthday

Joe's birthday was yesterday. We celebrated it with dinner at Logan's steakhouse on Sunday and a Dunkin Hines butter yellow cake with chocolate frosting - Joe's favorite.

Dishwasher Design

The last time Leah was over for a visit she did this to my dishwasher.

Leah - again

Julie's note in Facebook:
Yesterday as we were talking about what bedtime story we were going to read I joked with her about reading "101 Different Ways to be Leah" (An imaginary book of course). Leah said "Oh mom, that book would be too short." I was thinking short?? How could 101 things be short?? Before I could even respond she said, "Page 1. Be a Perzel Woman. The End." I so very much love her......

Thoughts about Dad

Earlier this week I was putting lotion on my shins because my skin was so dry. I had on footie socks, and as I spread the lotion I thought "I have Dad's legs". I remember clearly the shape of his lower legs, and the way they looked as he laid in bed with his footie socks on. Mine look exactly the same - as least from my upside down view.
As the time draws nearer for Dad's memorial in Florida, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about him. Somehow I can't get beyond the last week we spent together. I think a lot about his last few days. This morning I woke up at 4:30 and laid in bed thinking about Dad. After half an hour, I just decided to get up and do something other than dwell on him. What's my deal?

Rita Girls

Julie shared this with me today. She and Leah were having a discussion about some personal quality they lacked - like we'll never be super skinny people. And Leah made this comment: "But we'll always be Rita Girls, right Mom?" She said "You're so right." :-)

Winter Thaw

I realize I haven't posted much since the beginning of the year - and now it's officially mid-January. It seems like I've beend spending time working, and trying to stay warm. That's about all. We had a cold spell hit after Christmas, and I have been freezing. But today - it will hit 45 degrees! I was contemplating Spring planting on the way in to work, thinking about finally planting those Sweet Gum trees I've been wanting for the past 5 years.
Signs of a short winter thaw: I turned my car heater down to 73 (from 78), I left the car window open at the drive thru this morning, I didn't wear a jacket over my 2 layers of blouses today (last Friday, 2 blouses and a jacket, and my winter coat), and I didn't turn the space heater on in my dressing room today.
The next cold spell will be brutal - but I'm enjoying the thaw.

Happy 2010

I've been trying to gather my thoughts on where I want to go in 2010 - what projects I need to focus on. I've come up with three things:
Pruning - cutting out the things that clutter my life
1. Each month, focus on de-cluttering one room in the house. Some will take the entire month, some a weekend. Donate books, used furniture, decorations. Organize paperwork.
2. In early Spring, clear out old landscaping in the front of the house.
3. Lose 10 pounds.
4. Cut back to 1 can of soda per day.
Sewing - Sew seeds of improvement in my life.
1. Plant 3 new trees in the yard.
2. At least once every 3 months read a book to learn something, then implement it.
3. Introduce Leah to the tradition of sewing - on Mom's machine.
4. Connection - stay in contact with the older ones - Mom and Dad's siblings.
Growing - Focus on growing spiritually, strengthening myself physically, improving my people skills.
1. Pray more - say the rosary at least once a month. Read the book of Psalms.
2. Focus on my listening skills - listen to others more, don't take over a conversation, or entertain.
3. Walk more - build my walking distance. Work on my upper body strength.
4. Professionally - focus more at work so I can accomplish more in the same amount of time.