Letters to Dad

I wanted to keep these notes to Dad written by my cousins.  I hope they don't mind if I publish them here.  They are a great tribute to Dad - the man.

From Butch:
I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad's MRI..I can't find the words to tell you how sad it makes me feel. To me your dad has always been the same young age, in my mind never growing older forever young, a zest for living, an infectious laugh.Even at our visit Elaine, when he was hurting he seemed the same and even more courageous. I remember but can't recall the words of a letter he wrote me when I was born, he was in the Navy so I'm guessing 18 it was like a big brother's letter, never forgot it.


When we lived in New York and he was working on the project in New York city he made some visits out to see us which were fun, because we usually would go to the ocean, which he seemed to enjoy just staring at...and of course we had great fun when I would go down and visit him in the city, a couple of guys hanging out....it seems like only a couple of times but it was fun touring around the city. He introduced me to Greenwich Village, Times Square which for various reasons was awesome, and then a couple of friends but not in the actual sense girlfriends came to visit me from Ohio we went down to visit your dad and had a grand time squiring them around the city.
When I came home to Cincy to visit my family before going to Vietnam, your dad was there and gave me a sense of purpose a personal reason for going and that was it would make me a better man, confident and secure...and you know believe it or not I think he was right, though I doubted it at the time.
At my own dad's funeral, he was the one I sought out for comfort and of course he was there...so the whole situation saddens me greatly and so I guess I am writing this to let you know, that to me your dad is more than an uncle I feel he is a friend and a genuine good guy, it is a bum deal and he deserves better....love to you both...butch
 
From Denny:
Uncle Elmer,
It was great seeing you before Thanksgiving. I learned more about what it was like growing up in your household than I ever did from my mom. It was nice to get a guy's perspective and to hear of your entrepreneurial efforts to fence trolley transfers, grab free pies and watch (hopefully from a distance) the KKK doing whatever it is they did on the hills behind your house.

You've always been my favorite uncle and you saved my bacon at least one time that I can remember. I think it was while you were working in the New York area during the early 60s when we lived in North Bellmore and you would come to visit once in a while. During one of those visits I jumped on my bed as I often did when entering my room and the bed broke with a crash that made my heart sink. I knew my dad would kill me when he got home. I threw myself on the mercy of you and my mom, begging you to somehow fix the problem. While my dad and I went out somewhere that evening, you managed to drive some screws through the broken bed brace and, as far as I know, my dad was never the wiser. So . . . thanks for that! You also took us to the (I think) Telstar installation in Maine during our two-family visit to Plum Island in Mass. I was briefly a big man with my space-crazy buddies as a result of being so close to this brand new space age technology.

I've always enjoyed your sense of humor and your put downs were invariably soft and funny ("you're one fart smeller . . . er, smart feller") that taught me there are many different ways to send a message to someone without being ugly about it. Great laugher. Nice smile. Navy man. See, you have the whole package!

Uncle Elmer, I guess my message is simply this: Each of us impacts those around us in ways we never really understand or appreciate at the time. And there's a part of you in me -- and always will be. Thanks for that.
Love,
Denny

From Sharon:
Dear Uncle Elmer,


I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and that you are in my constant prayers. You were the first Uncle I really got to know. Do you remember when you used to come visit us when we lived on Long Island? In those days, people didn't move as much as they do today and we were a little odd with what the New Yorkers felt were funny accents. Then you came and talked just as funny as we did!!!! I remember you coming to visit us and you were quite the curiousity to me as a young girl. I hadn't spent much time with family and to think that my Mom had a brother like me was pretty special. Thank you for being there.
Do you remember the trip to Plum Island? Mom and Dad didn't usually have vacations like that. We were always traveling to new destinations and to spend that kind of time in one place with my cousins was very exciting. The water was so very, very cold and Denny still remembers trying to get into the cabin when I was sleeping and counting flies that he caught in a cup.

I also remember all the family gatherings at your house in Delhi. You even took me in a couple of times.

I think God is looking at you and saying, great job good and faithful servant. You are like the worker that took the treasure and invested it. Look at your kids....aren't they amazing. They have always been so warm and kind to me. Bill was always so much fun to talk to and he was so good to Mom and Dad when he lived in Union. Barb is such a treat and she was so kind to me when Dad was sick. She wrote me and gave me such a great care package. Elaine and Caroline are like some powerful dynamic duo. And Susan always reminds me of the the little girl who said, "I hoird the boird choirp." Denny used to just love the way she talked. Little did I know that I would choose that as a profession! All of your family have made me feel special...I think the girls feel sorry for me that I don't have a sister. But, they always make me feel like I almost have a sister.
All of them seem to be doing such an awesome job with your beautiful grandchidren as well as the beautiful Julie and your delightful great grandchildren. You have given them what they need to share all that love with their families. They know how important family is and they learned that from you and Aunt Rita. As a young man, could you have ever imagined you would have been blessed with all these beautiful people in your life? Thank you from someone who has benefitted from also having these beautiful people in my life.
I love you and I thank you for all you have been in my life. Great job.
Love,

Sharon