Florida Memorial

Today I booked my flights for Dad's memorial service in Florida on February 6th. I'll be going down to Ft. Myers on the 3rd and returning on the 7th. I think Carolyn and I are on the same flights.

Weird

This morning was a task morning. Matt and I stopped at church to set up Masses for next year for Mom and Dad. Then we picked up Ty and Leah and headed to the cemetery for an appointment with Ken, the director of Dad's funeral service for the cemetery. This was a follow up appointment - as it turns out he gave me a book for some pre-planning for my funeral service (weird). Then on to the grocery for Christmas Day appetizer fixings. Then home for lunch and an afternoon of work. All morning long, Leah counted how many times she said "weird" (45 at last count).
But weird pretty much describes Christmas this year. I did zero shopping except online for a few gifts for Ty and Leah. I've done zero baking - although my freezer is full of cookie dough. I've wrapped zero presents.
I'm waiting. Perhaps this year Christmas will be about the birth of Jesus for me. Perhaps this is the year it will about welcoming our Saviour. I'm waiting for the peace of Christmas to envelope me.
And - based on all my previous Christmases - that will be weird, but a good weird.
Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

Come Lord Jesus, Come

Mary`s Boy Child (Harry Belafonte)

Letters to Dad

I wanted to keep these notes to Dad written by my cousins.  I hope they don't mind if I publish them here.  They are a great tribute to Dad - the man.

From Butch:
I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad's MRI..I can't find the words to tell you how sad it makes me feel. To me your dad has always been the same young age, in my mind never growing older forever young, a zest for living, an infectious laugh.Even at our visit Elaine, when he was hurting he seemed the same and even more courageous. I remember but can't recall the words of a letter he wrote me when I was born, he was in the Navy so I'm guessing 18 it was like a big brother's letter, never forgot it.


When we lived in New York and he was working on the project in New York city he made some visits out to see us which were fun, because we usually would go to the ocean, which he seemed to enjoy just staring at...and of course we had great fun when I would go down and visit him in the city, a couple of guys hanging out....it seems like only a couple of times but it was fun touring around the city. He introduced me to Greenwich Village, Times Square which for various reasons was awesome, and then a couple of friends but not in the actual sense girlfriends came to visit me from Ohio we went down to visit your dad and had a grand time squiring them around the city.
When I came home to Cincy to visit my family before going to Vietnam, your dad was there and gave me a sense of purpose a personal reason for going and that was it would make me a better man, confident and secure...and you know believe it or not I think he was right, though I doubted it at the time.
At my own dad's funeral, he was the one I sought out for comfort and of course he was there...so the whole situation saddens me greatly and so I guess I am writing this to let you know, that to me your dad is more than an uncle I feel he is a friend and a genuine good guy, it is a bum deal and he deserves better....love to you both...butch
 
From Denny:
Uncle Elmer,
It was great seeing you before Thanksgiving. I learned more about what it was like growing up in your household than I ever did from my mom. It was nice to get a guy's perspective and to hear of your entrepreneurial efforts to fence trolley transfers, grab free pies and watch (hopefully from a distance) the KKK doing whatever it is they did on the hills behind your house.

You've always been my favorite uncle and you saved my bacon at least one time that I can remember. I think it was while you were working in the New York area during the early 60s when we lived in North Bellmore and you would come to visit once in a while. During one of those visits I jumped on my bed as I often did when entering my room and the bed broke with a crash that made my heart sink. I knew my dad would kill me when he got home. I threw myself on the mercy of you and my mom, begging you to somehow fix the problem. While my dad and I went out somewhere that evening, you managed to drive some screws through the broken bed brace and, as far as I know, my dad was never the wiser. So . . . thanks for that! You also took us to the (I think) Telstar installation in Maine during our two-family visit to Plum Island in Mass. I was briefly a big man with my space-crazy buddies as a result of being so close to this brand new space age technology.

I've always enjoyed your sense of humor and your put downs were invariably soft and funny ("you're one fart smeller . . . er, smart feller") that taught me there are many different ways to send a message to someone without being ugly about it. Great laugher. Nice smile. Navy man. See, you have the whole package!

Uncle Elmer, I guess my message is simply this: Each of us impacts those around us in ways we never really understand or appreciate at the time. And there's a part of you in me -- and always will be. Thanks for that.
Love,
Denny

From Sharon:
Dear Uncle Elmer,


I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and that you are in my constant prayers. You were the first Uncle I really got to know. Do you remember when you used to come visit us when we lived on Long Island? In those days, people didn't move as much as they do today and we were a little odd with what the New Yorkers felt were funny accents. Then you came and talked just as funny as we did!!!! I remember you coming to visit us and you were quite the curiousity to me as a young girl. I hadn't spent much time with family and to think that my Mom had a brother like me was pretty special. Thank you for being there.
Do you remember the trip to Plum Island? Mom and Dad didn't usually have vacations like that. We were always traveling to new destinations and to spend that kind of time in one place with my cousins was very exciting. The water was so very, very cold and Denny still remembers trying to get into the cabin when I was sleeping and counting flies that he caught in a cup.

I also remember all the family gatherings at your house in Delhi. You even took me in a couple of times.

I think God is looking at you and saying, great job good and faithful servant. You are like the worker that took the treasure and invested it. Look at your kids....aren't they amazing. They have always been so warm and kind to me. Bill was always so much fun to talk to and he was so good to Mom and Dad when he lived in Union. Barb is such a treat and she was so kind to me when Dad was sick. She wrote me and gave me such a great care package. Elaine and Caroline are like some powerful dynamic duo. And Susan always reminds me of the the little girl who said, "I hoird the boird choirp." Denny used to just love the way she talked. Little did I know that I would choose that as a profession! All of your family have made me feel special...I think the girls feel sorry for me that I don't have a sister. But, they always make me feel like I almost have a sister.
All of them seem to be doing such an awesome job with your beautiful grandchidren as well as the beautiful Julie and your delightful great grandchildren. You have given them what they need to share all that love with their families. They know how important family is and they learned that from you and Aunt Rita. As a young man, could you have ever imagined you would have been blessed with all these beautiful people in your life? Thank you from someone who has benefitted from also having these beautiful people in my life.
I love you and I thank you for all you have been in my life. Great job.
Love,

Sharon

Things I Want To Remember

During the last few days of Dad's life, many hours were spent in the room with him, caring for him, keeping him company, and making him stay in bed. 
Each day was a new problem to solve - how to get Dad up after a fall, how to move him around on the bed without hurting him, how to get him to eat something.  Seemingly small things - but we had no experiance with one so sick. 
There was a special chair that we called "the viewing seat"  that seemed to be in Dad's line of vision the way he naturally laid in bed.  That seat was rarely empty - even when Dad slept.
For Dad, Stan was someone he could depend on.  On Sunday night I watched as Stan sat in the viewing seat, and Dad looked at him with such love in his eyes.  Stan helped him out of bed when he wanted up, he was a refuge from all the women mothering him - I think. 
We developed a system for getting Dad out of bed to use the bathroom.  It usually took 3 people - but 2 could do it in a pinch.  Carolyn and I managed on Sunday morning, JR and I on Saturday, and after that Jason, Stan, and I worked it out.
When Jason arrived on Sunday and saw Dad, he was so upset.  It was impossible to know how much Dad needed help unless you were actually there in that house.  But Dad told Jason a rude joke - later in the day as they watched the Bengal's game.
Things that made Dad smile - a note from Shirley Meurer that talked about their fun times together, learning that Navy beat Army, a Christmas card from Susan with pictures of Dan and Stephanie, Jason's visit (Dad said "I love this guy"), each note the Hessler's sent.  a note from his Florida friends Horst and Lily, who talked about their dog leaving treats at Dad's door, and the many fun times they had. 
I got Dad a Connie Francis Christmas CD and we played it a lot in his room.  Dad loved Connie Francis - and one time I saw his lips moving during the Ave Maria and asked him if he was singing. 
Stan began sleeping downstairs so he could hear Dad if he moved - hopefully to stop him from trying to get out of bed on his own.  Between Thursday and Sunday morning Dad fell 3 or 4 times trying to get out of bed.  Jason, Stand and I kept watch over him in his room on Sunday night, and Lauren and Susan joined the rotation on Monday night.  On Monday night everone dozed - either in Dad's room or right outside his door, on couches, chairs, and the floor.  We all just wanted to be close.
Dad had his last "bath" on Monday.  As out of it as he was, when the nurse aide asked if he wanted to be shaved, Dad said "No" - emphatically.  She showed Susan and I how to change the sheets while Dad was still in bed, how to take care of him personally, how to moisten his mouth with some special sponges on a stick. 
On Tuesday, Susan and I cleaned Dad up some before Betsy - his primary nurse - arrived.  He expressed some irritation at us rolling him around, but didn't seem to focus much.  We all were wondering - is this the 'coma"? When Betsy came in he didn't respond to her voice as he had to the nurse aide on Monday.  She checked Dad over and used one of those sponges to wet down Dad's mouth - much more agressively than Susan, Lauren, or I did - we didn't know how to do it and she was demonstrating what to do - teaching us how to care for him.  While Betsey was in the kitchen cleaning up, she was called from Dad's room.  Emily was in the viewing seat - and she and Susan said that Dad was in distress - waving his arms and such.  Betsey had us roll him on his side - and then said - "It's happening now".  We called Carolyn into the room, and Dad passed away.  Carolyn, Susan, Emily, Stan, Lauren, Betsy, and I joined hands as Carolyn led us in a Hail Mary, and we cried.  Connie Francis was singing in the background.
After Dad passed away, we did not leave him alone until the funeral home picked him up - several hours later.  By that time Elaine, Bill, Amanda, Jason, Julie, Curt, Leah, Tyler, JR, Les, and Joe had arrived. We sat in his room and kept talked about Dad.  Again the viewing seat was not empty.  As they wheeled Dad out, we played the Ave Maria again.
I spent many long hours with Jason, Lauren, and Emily. I'll love them forever - and will never forget the bond we shared as they cared for their Grandpa.

Celebrate!

Yesterday we celebrated Dad's life on Earth, as we said our final farewells.  We worked hard to plan the Mass, and short ceremony at the mausolium.  We didn't plan for the half inch of snow - but it was OK.  At the viewing I saw many people I hadn't seen in years.  Shirley Meurer and her son Greg - who looks just like his dad, Jim Duffy - both old neighbors.  Uncle Andy and Aunt Mary - with their families.  Friends of Mom and Dad - "the IRS ladies", Joe and Dot Willett.  Mom's family - Aunt Birtie and Uncle Francis, and all my cousins.  The remaining Kessen siblings - I so felt their love and support.
We remembered Dad.  He was a man with strong traditions, and bent on passing them down to his children.  He was a caretaker, he was full of advice - all through my life guiding me with his words of advice.  Dad was a fixer - he could build or ceate anything.  And when you needed something done - Dad was the guy to go to.  He was involved in his homeowner's association, he was the one who knew how to repair and handle the sump pump in the elevator, he built a playhouse for my boys when they were younger - a camp house in the woods.   And Dad was the life of any party.  He could mix some mean drinks, and he could dance.  But mostly Dad was a man who loved us all to the best of his ability, who lived his life guided by his faith, who cared for us and raised us to be strong and independant people.

A Couple of Remembances

Monday night Jason and Lauren stood watch over Dad for a few hours. Lauren said it was so hard to stay awake, the lights were low, the oxygen machine was working quietly in the background, and Dad sounded like a Zen fountain gugling away while he slept.
Jason watched the Bengals game with Dad on Sunday, and Dad knew that Navy beat Army on Saturday.
When I wouldn't let Dad out of bed Sunday morning, Dad called out for JR to help him, as he had all day Saturday.
I read to Dad from his Advent book each day, and Friday we prayed the rosary together, well I prayed, he listened.
Carolyn kept trying to think of something that might tempt Dad to eat. His final meal was vanilla pudding, which he really enjoyed.
Carolyn and Stan took such good care of Dad.

Arrangments

Deut 31:6 Be strong and of good courage. Do not fear nor be afraid...for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Today Bill, Elaine, Susan, Curt, and I met with the funeral home and the church to make final arragments for Dad's service.  Dad wanted eveything to be just like Mom's so we began with her program.  We walked in to the church with the readings and the petitions, they were amazed at our organizational skills.  We had to change a couple of things during the service, there is meditation song after Communion, and one of Mom's songs was too girly for Dad - but things are basically the same.  We wanted to have them sing O Holy Night as the recessional, because Dad always loved that song and belted it out each Christmas.  They couldn't do it as the recessional, because it's not the Christmas season yet (liturgical), but they will sing it after Mass, as Dad is being readied for the trip to the cemetery - so listen for it.  We also had to move the singing of the Ave Maria to before mass, when we are placing the Pall on Dad's  casket.  When Dad was so gravely ill, we played music for him.  I got him a Connie Francis CD for Chistmas, and as she sang the Ave Maia, Dad's lips were moving.  I said "Are you singing Dad?".  There was no reply, of course, but I know he heard the music and was happy with it.
At the funeral home, the girls were migrating away from the blue casket.  I personnally am not fond of blue, and didn't like  most of the blue linings.  Curt spoke up and said - "The only reason I'm here is because Grandpa wanted me to make sure he got a blue casket - like Mom's."  So - the girls said "ok.  Show us only the blue ones." and we found one we were happy with.  The rest was easy, because Dad had smoothed the way, as he always did.


I'm not going to retype the arrangements here, but you can find them on Carolyn's blog: http://ourdadsjourney.blogspot.com/2009/12/saturday-services.html

Dad is gone

Dad went to be with Mom at 10:50 this morning.

Sleeping peacefully for now

Dad is sleeping peacefully for now.  His breathing is labored and rattled.  He can communnicate with some difficulty, eventually we get that he wants to be moved around a bit for example.  I read to him again from some more notes we received from my cousins and from his lifelong friends.  (Denny - he got a big smile about the "fart smeller" line.)  We are medicating him for the pain, and any anxiety he might feel as his lungs fill up. 
In the morning the remainder of the family will come in.  There are bodies sleeping all over the house.  We are taking care of Dad in shifts - someone is with him at all times - usually more than one someone.  I just got off duty, taking over from Lauren, and Jason took over from me.  Stan, Dad's rock, remains in the room, sometimes dozing in the recliner, sometime flat out snoring.  In the  morning, there will be even more bodies, even more commotion, even more family love, as we all wait for Dad to rejoin our heavenly Father, and his beloved Rita.
It's peaceful here at this hour, almost 5AM. 
 

Update on Dad

We learned today from the hospice nurse that Dad is in his last few days with us.  She said that he probably has 24 to 48 hours before slipping into a coma, and will probably not make it until the end of the week.  He is resting comfortably for the most part.
His lungs are filling up with fluid, a sign the end is coming.  He has spots of anger and restlessnes, another sing they say. 
We called all my siblings to come.   
Today is Monday - I've been here since last Thursday and was supposed to go home today.  Julie and my husband Joe are coming tomorrow.  Elaine, Bill and Amanda are also coming tomorrow.  JR and Les on Wednesday.  Susan and Lauren are here already. 
Dad said today he didn't want to be a damned movie - quit looking at him like he's a movie!  He has moments of grouchiness.  He also has moments of smiles, and funny saying, and happiness.  Today I think he was "singing" to the Ave Maria on a Connie Francis Christmas CD.  He told Jason an unrepeatable joke yesterday during the Bengal's game.  Those moments carry us through the grouchiness.

Emails

I have received some wonderful emails from my cousins while in Columbus.  I can't respond, but know that I thank you for them, and that I will be sure Dad gets his messages. 
Thanks you for your prayers.

I'm in Columbus

Last Thursday I drove up to Columbus to help with Dad.  Elaine was up earlier in the week - from Monday through Wednesday morning, when she had to leave to travel to San Francisco.  Elaine helped Dad with his Christmas cards, and other tasks he assigned to her. 

Thursday was a busy day.  When I arrived, Dad was in bed, waiting for the nurse's visit, and the nurse aid visit to bathe him.  He also was expecting some equipment deliveries.  We talked some, but Dad was sleepy.  I was amazed as his ability to start a sentance, fall asleep, and wake up 2 minutes later and finish it.  He asked me 4 times what day it was - and finally was able to say he was concerned about getting his lottery tickets before Friday!  We did his scratch offs, and he won 18 dollars - enough to buy his weekend tickets and more scratch offs.  He was happy!

As the day wore on he was even more tired and groggy.  During the course of the day Dad fell twice when he tried to go the bathroom.  He was very insistant that he wanted to walk with his walker to the bathroom, instead of being rolled down.  The second time was too scary - so we told him he had to stay in bed - which didn't make him happy - let's just say. 

We started to get more concerned about his groggyness, especially when he started slurring his words in the evening while talking to Lauren.  So - we called the hospice nurse about his methadone dose.  She said that sleepiness happens a lot for patients on methadone and we should continue to give him his pill - so we did.  The daytime nurse (Betsey) had explained to me that the methadone he was on was for long term pain, and the liquid morphine for breakthrough pain. 

By Friday Dad was totally out of it.  He didn't speak, barely moved, just slept.  Stan spoke to Betsey early Friday morning and she said she was coming for a visit instead of just calling to check on Dad.  We held back the methadone, since Dad was feeling no pain.  Carolyn stayed home from work.  We watched over Dad, tried to decorate for Christmas, consulted with Betsey, took delivery of a hospital bed, a bedside commode, linnens and other equipment for Dad.  We tried to feed Dad some - some broth, some fruit coctail.  We switched him over to the hospital bed without him even waking up!  We continued to hold back on the methadone.

Saturday morning Dad was a little more lucid.  He was awake some, fussed at me some, but still not all there.  JR and Les drove up to Columbus to help me in the afternoon and evening so Carolyn's family could have a day and night out.  We talked with the nurse who visited him, and she explained the purpose of more of his medications.  Three times we lifted him out of bed!  He told Les she tasted like lasagna when she kissed him hello!  He ate a few bites of ham but thats pretty much all he ate all day. 

And today - at 4AM he managed to get up and fall again.  He scraped his arm, but other than that no other injuries.  We are anxious for the nurse to come, and Jason.  Caroyln and I just got him out of bed ourselves - whew!  We are still holding back on the methadone, just treating his pain with liquid morphine.  JR suggested we get a medicine syringe to give him his morphine, so he doesn't have to be laying on his back.  Some times you are such on top of a thing that you can't see the easy solution!

Dad has come to rely on Stan, and is comforted when he is in the house.  Stan "sleeps" downstairs at night so he can hear him.  We have a baby moniter in Dad'sroom, and he listens for the russling of  rsheets.  We learn each day a little more how to care for him.

Dad

Today we learned that Dad has about 1 month left. The doctor said Christmas was a good goal. His lung cancer has progressed more rapidly than they thought. He has been removed from all curative treatments, and is starting Hospice. Here is a picture of him at Elaine's right before Thanksgiving, thanks to my cousin Denny.

Whom Do You Trust?

The one who understands a matter finds success, and the one who trusts in the Lord will be happy.
~~ Proverbs 16:20 ~~

Where will you place your trust today? Will you trust in the ways of the world, or will you trust in the Word and the will of your Creator?

Trusting God means trusting Him in every aspect of your life. You must trust Him with your relationships. You must trust Him with your finances. You must follow His commandments and pray for His guidance. Then, you can wait patiently for God's revelations and for His blessings.

When you trust your Heavenly Father without reservation, you can rest assured: in His own fashion and in His own time, God will bless you in ways that you never could have imagined. So trust Him, and then prepare yourself for the abundance and joy that will most certainly be yours through Him.

Sometimes the very essence of faith
is trusting God in the midst of things He knows
good and well we cannot comprehend. ~~ Beth Moore

Thanksgiving Prep and a Dad update

Today I worked from home - and finished up about 2:00 P.M.  I'll have to work a couple of hours on Friday - Black Friday.  This is a given when working in the IT department of a retail company. 

After work, Les and I began the preparation for Thanksgiving dinner.  We made homemade applesauce, and apple pie.  That required peeling and coring about 10 pounds of assorted kinds of apples.  We made a cheeseball and sauce for our appetizer meatballs.  Les and I worked together and got everything finished by 5:00!  That's all my food prep for tomorrow.  Les made most of the apple pie - and it looks fabulous!  I can't wait to eat it.

All that early prep was so that we could take Dad to the cemetery tomorrow morning if he wanted to go.  Unfortunately, he isn't feeling well enough.  His side is extremely painful, and he doesn't want to do the morphine patch because it affects his balance.  He says he probably won't make it through Thanksgiving without laying down quite a bit.  He sounds awful - like he doesn't feel well.  Yesterday when I talked to him he started crying.   He hates depending on people to do things for him.  All this is very hard on him physically, and mentally.

Please pray for Dad.

Barb 1 Deer 0

One week ago (last Thursday) I hit a deer on the way home from work.  Here are some pictures of my damaged car.  My car was pretty banged up.  Alnost totaled.  The center picture shows where the deer's antler pierced the fender on the passenger side.  So - looking at the car you might wonder about this blog's title.  Why was I the winner?  Well, on Friday I was sore and a little stiff - but the deer was stiffer (if you know what I mean)!

Prayer for the Holy Souls in Purgatory

Here is a very powerful Prayer for the Holy Souls in Purgatory by Saint Gertrude the Great, Benedictine Nun (1256-1302):

Eternal Father,
I offer Thee the most precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today,
for all the holy souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere,
for sinners in the universal Church,
those in my own home and within my family.
Amen.

Pain and Pleasure

You always have the ability to change your life for the better. To take the specific actions that will bring about that change, you must find the motivation within yourself to do so. To create your own powerful, personal motivation, set yourself up to do two things that come naturally. Move away from pain and move toward pleasure.
If something is painful, you will be highly inclined to move away from it. So remind yourself at the deepest level about the painful consequences of not taking action, of not making the changes you know you must make.
When something is pleasurable, you will naturally and without hesitation move toward it. Arrange to make the changes so completely and meaningfully pleasurable that you cannot help but take the actions necessary to bring them about.
When you give yourself a compelling reason to change, you will most certainly find the way to make those changes. When you clearly know why, within the depth of your being, you will figure out how, and you'll enthusiastically do whatever must be done.
Yes, you can indeed make a positive change in your life right now. Move away from the pain of inaction and toward the pleasure of whatever you sincerely seek.

-- Ralph Marston

Pray For the Souls of the Dead

Today is All Souls Day.  On this day, and throughout the month of November we are intended to pray in a special way for the souls in Purgatory,
We, the members of the Church Militant, have a vital role in obtaining the release of the souls in Purgatory. Then once those members of the Church Suffering have joined the Church Triumphant, they will pray for us while we’re on earth and when we’re in Purgatory ourselves.
It is the way the Body of Christ is designed to work, and we have to keep up our end of the bargain.
And so, I went to Mass today to pray for Mom, Ron (Joe's brother) and our neighbor, Tom , in particular, and for the deceased members of my family and Joe's family. I wrote their names in the Book of Remembrance so that the parish will pray for them all month.
I ask you, my few readers, to pray for these souls this month:
Rita Perzel
Ron Kessen
Bob and Ruth Kessen
Russel and Clara Bravard
John and Mary Perzel
Oscar and Loretta Matt
Tom Hall

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
Amen

Pop Quiz

Recently, I've thought about studying for spelling tests all week, when I was younger. Sometimes, we'd take pretests- not for a grade, but to help us figure out what we needed to study before the big test.

That reminds me of a sermon I heard recently. The pastor was teaching from 1 Peter 1:6-
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.

In the sermon, he mentioned that he had always looked at trials as tests by God, ones that you could pass or fail, and God was just waiting to see if you could weather the trial. In fact though, the trials or tests are really for YOU to see what you are made of. It's a chance to see where your strengths are, so you can grow. Suddenly my brain clicked in to gear...

God already knows me through and through... these tests are not for His benefit... but mine!

You know how you can hear something a jillion times and then one day it's said in such a way that you just get it? In that moment, I finally got it.

The tests we are enduring now, they're preparing us for eternity... as we work out our salvation, growing toward the ultimate goal of Christlikeness... they're not so we can be judged, but so we can figure out what areas we need to study harder in! So, if I don't do well in a trial, it's not that I got an F, but I instead get the opportunity to let God refine these areas. If I lose my temper, I know I need to pray for patience. If I doubt? Time to build my faith.

And where does faith come from? Just need to consult the Study Guide (it's an open Book test, after all)~
Romans 10:17- So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

So, if I go through a trial, and discover that my faith is weaker than I thought it was, I just need to read and hear more of the Word. Aha! Then, that's what I shall do! How hard is that?

I guess the reason I'm so excited about this revelation is that I guess I just never thought much about why God would test me, I only focused on how disappointing it must be for God to have me fail time after time. Now that I realize that I can use these 'practice tests' to get me ready for eternity, I can pay attention much better to what actually is happening. That way, the closer I get to eternity, the closer I'll be to Him.

God is so faithful to paint little pictures for my heart to understand. What an amazing God we serve! I get that I'm still a preschooler in the faith, but I feel honored that He takes the time to break it down to my understanding.

My Little Goblins

I did not get to Trick or Treat with Ty and Leah this year.  Julie and Curt took them to a former neighbor's house to go around in their new neighborhood.  I was sad - for a minute.  It was too cold for me after sitting out all morning at football games.  Julie sent me this picture, though.

Rascals

The following statements came across my computer screen today. I have met the gentleman personally and follow his lead in many areas. That sounds kinda strange. How exactly is it possible to follow someone who’s not near you? Only in Cyber-Land. That and maybe time travel. Anyhoo…back to the important part.
These are some things he said today.

A Rascal is any individual who has the character to be a character.

A Rascal is someone who makes a difference by being different.

A Rascal doesn’t follow the herd; but he or she does protect it.

A Rascal is an original character; one who can’t be classified, minimized, silenced, or enslaved.

Rascals are rebels WITH a cause.

Do these statements describe anyone you know? Several people came to my mind – IMMEDIATELY.

After reading over them several times I realized all of those statements were true of the greatest character who ever lived. Go ahead, I know you want to re-read them. I’ll wait.

Now, don’t you agree? Couldn’t all of those statements be used to describe Jesus and His earthly ministry? (If you didn’t take the opportunity to read them before, you’re doing it now, aren’t you?)

I absolutely LOVE Rascals! They don’t always make life easier, but they do make it richer!

So, who are the rascals in your life?
Are you a rascal?
Do you want to be?

A Busy Weekend

This weekend we were crazy busy.  According to my plan, I was going to make my first batch of homemade sausage this weekend.  But instead we left Friday morning for Flint, Michigan - a 5 hour drive.  We picked up some friends and went to the home of Chris and Terry Brady in Columbiaville, Michigan.  There we attended a leadership learning session that was exciting and informative.  Afterward we visited with Mike and Nancy Jones, our friends from Linden, Michigan where we watched a video of Louie Giglio that was inspriring!  We returned home Saturday evening and picked up Ty who was spending the night.  Joe was taking him to Sunday School, while I was watching Leah at her cheerleading competition Sunday morning.  Curt and Julie went to the Bengals game on Sunday, so Ty was with us until dinner time.  Leah was with friends - so she and grammie didn't get to make cookies. :(

Ty went to bed earliy - at 8:15!

Leah's team took 1st place Overall in the cheerleading competition!

After she was awarded her trophy and roses she told her Mom "This is the best day of my lefe!"   

Lunch with Mom's Sibs

On Tuesday, Dad, Julie, and I had lunch with my aunts and uncles - Mom's brother and sisters, and my cousin Laurie. It was a great lunch at DeSha's on Montgomery Rd. It was so good to see everyone - and I so felt the love of my mother present in her family. I heard her voice when my Aunt Birdie spoke, and I saw her face over and over again in Uncle Francis, and Aunt Birdie. It was very comforting - 1 year and 1 day after Mom died. We spoke about small things, day to day life, what my cousins are doing, recipes, and how we are all surviving our losses. Oh my word - I felt the love of family surrounding me, and felt at peace.

I Tell Myself

I silently resolve to have a humbler, more grateful heart.
I am everything God intends for me to be. This place where He put me offers me all the intellectual affirmation I need.

Tyler - Grandparents Day

Today was Grandparents day at Ty and Leah's school.  We met Ty in the cafteria, went to his room, had a tour of the school, and ate cookies.  What a grand party!

                                                         

 

                                                         

                                                                     

Leah - Granparents Day

Today was Grandparents day at Ty and Leah's school.  We met with Leah in the cafeteria, went to her room, toured the school, and has cookies.  A grand party!

The three of us.

I'm the cute one!

The Document Explained

My cousin Teresa recently asked me exactly what the infamous "document" was that occupied so much of our family posts.  Here is the explanation I sent her:

"The document" started as a 90 page PDF file containing his condo association's rules and regulations, and the state declarations about the condo association itself - the state laws, what happens if the condos are damaged, images of the building that makes up the association, how the public areas are maintained etc.

The association wanted to make a few small changes, and a lawyer quoted them $10,000, so Dad said he would do it. All my sibs, and some of my cousins have been involved in trying to convert the PDF file (no one could) to recreating it as a word doc. Dad almost sent it to Germany to one of the cousin's kids!

Much work has gone into it on Dad's part. We have all heard about it, and have all had our hands in helping him with it. Part of the problem is Dad's computer skills. He keeps numerous copies of his work, on CDs, the hard drive, and a flash drive. Sometimes that was good because whole paragraphs would disappear.

Dad swears Carolyn's air conditioner was changing the content of his file (you heard me right). Whenever he was saving it and the AC kicked on, pieces would go missing - according to Dad. I think it had more to do with having to copy all his changes to multiple places to keep his numerous backups in sync.

That's the story of "the document". It's almost over - the document is now in the hands of the condo association, has come back for a few changes, but must be complete soon so that copies can be made before the owners' meeting in January.

The Big Anniversary

Monday will be 1 year since Mom died.  I keep shying away from thinking about it.  Last weekend, when I was putting away my summer clothes, I thought about last year - I had just gathered up my summer clothes and had not moved them yet to their winter storage location - which made it easy for me to find shorts and shirts when we had to make the fast run to Florida.  This weekend we will be traveling to Milwaukee for a conference.  Last year we were in Louisville.  We received the call about Mom early Saturday morning in our hotel room - right before we left for the day session.  We checked out immediately and headed for Cincinnati - planning the long drive to Fort Myers. We contacted Matt - so he could get to Dad.  And learned the Bobby Bravard was also there for Dad, and Susan and Chuck were on the way. Our suitcase was basically packed - we just had to substitute our summer clothes, and our funeral clothes - just in case we needed them.   By the time we reached Cincinnati - the trip to Fort Myers was planned,  Julie, Curt and the kids, Joe and I, and Lauren - Elaine's daughter would all make the long trek to Fort Myers - without stopping - just in case.  Maybe everything would be OK.
So this weekend we'll be in Milwaukee.  Dad's growing cancer is weighing heavily on my mind.  I think next year I'll just hibernate the second weekend in October.

Update on Dad

Dad received the results of last week's CT scan, and the news is not good. The original cancer has grown, and there are some new spots. Because of this result he was taken off the trial study. He told me today that he is taking a pill that is his new "chemo" treatment - but the doctor said the pill doen't have very good results. He will no longer need the weekly blood draws - and in fact does not hve to return to the Zangmeister Center for "a couple of months". The pain in his side is not from the drainage tube from last summer, but from the cancer. Dad was put on a patch for pain. Dad has mixed emotions about the results. Obviously he is sad. He is talking about getting back to Florida while he still can. When we hung up, he was crying and I was crying. The last time I saw Dad cry was Uncle John's funeral.
Later in the day he called again, right when I was thinking about calling to make sure he was OK. He asked me something about the infamous "document", told me he was having trouble printing from his computer - and could I help, and discussed getting Julie a meat grinder for Christmas so she could make goetta and sausage.

Columbus Visit

I spent Thursday and Friday in Columbus visiting Dad. On Thursday, Dad gave me my early Christmas present - a meat grinder to use while making sausage. I was in "sausage maker training" Thursday afternoon. I can't wait! It w ill be 2 weeks before I can make my first batch - but I have all the ingredients - I just need the time. Dad also gave me my first taste of Head Cheese. He had some that Bill brought up frame a Slovak butcher in Atlanta. It actually wasn't too bad, although I don't think I'll be buying any on my own.

Dad and I also worked on "the document", took it to Kinko's, decided I needed to work on it some more. Literally I spent 4 - 5 hours getting it prettied up. On Friday we went to the Zangmeister Center for Dad's CT scan. This will tell us how the chemo is doing - if the cancer is progressing, or if it has halted. Results will be in next Wednesday, when he goes for his next chemo treatment. We visited Kinko's a couple more times - and I believe the document was ready to mail when I left around 5:00 PM on Friday.

Here are a couple of pictures from Skyline on Thursday night. As for Dad, his hair is greyer, he's walking a little slower, he's also walking a little more stooped over, and he is still having pain in his side from where they drained his lung this summer (which might be why he is walking around stooped over). Dad desperately wants to return to Florida. He's trying to work out a way to get his blood draws in Florida, and his chemo every 3 weeks in Ohio.

Oh - and wonder of wonders, "the document" has been put in the mail to Dad's Condo Association.

Emily and Carolyn

A Football Weekend

Saturday I went to see Leah cheer, and Ty play football.  Ty only made it in for 1 play - but that one play was fabulous.  His team won!  Leah's team - well that was a different story - but she looked great!

On Sunday we had the kids over while Julie and Curt were at the footbal game.  Leah, Ty, and I worked on putting away the pool stuff - rafts, toys, chemical tests and other stuff.  Leah and I baked sugar cookies and made Oreo eyeballs (they don't have real eyeballs in them she told everyone).  We also made tailgate food for dinner - veggie tray (Leah said "I can touch veggies, I just won't eat them"), chicken fingers, skyline dip, meatballs, corn on the cob, and Crabbies.  Then we all watched the game - JR, Les, Joe, Ty, Leah and me,  It was a gerat afternoon with family.  After the Bengals beat the Steelers, we played outside.  Les drew this image of Leah doing the splits:

Our Lady of Walsingham

In Walsingham, a village in Norfolk, England, in 1061, Mary appeared to a widow who later saw to it that a chapel was built. The widow, Lady Richeldis, had a holy house built that was a replica of the house the Holy Family lived in during their time in Nazareth. For hundreds of years, pilgrims and devotees journeyed to Walsingham to pay their respects.

Mary, as Our Lady of Walsingham, seems to be a bridge, a common ground, a shared blankie of sorts, between the divisions created when the Church of England was established. Devotion to Our Lady of Walsingham has inspired Anglicans and Roman Catholics to stand side-by-side in prayer, to erect shared shrines, to remember their common background.
How much of a stretch is it, really, to picture Mary as a blankie? How often do we reach, blindly, for comfort in old familiar places? Maybe Jesus didn’t need a blankie after all, when He had the arms of His mother. He could rest in the comfort of her care, just as we can. The image of her, our maternal blankie, can remind us of Mary’s protection and that of the angels who watch over us. Maybe the lesson, for me, is that Mary is the only blankie I need, the comfort that will always lead me back to the One I’m called to serve.

O blessed Virgin Mary, Our Lady of Walsingham, Mother of God and our most gentle Queen and Mother, look down in mercy upon us. By you it was that Jesus, our Savior and hope, was given to the world, and He has given you to us that we may hope still more. Plead for us, your children, whom you did receive and accept at the foot of the Cross, O sorrowful Mother. Pray for us all, dear Mother, that by faith fruitful in good works, we all may be made worthy to see and praise God, together with you in our heavenly home. Amen.

Dad's Hot Slaw

I received a request for Dad's Hot Slaw recipe - here it is:

Hot Slaw

4 slices bacon, cooked & crumbled
1/2 c. apple cider vinegar (or white vinegar - Dad prefers the cider vinegar)
1/2 c. water
1/2 c. sugar
1 bag angel hair cabbage or 1 head cabbage, shredded
additional bacon bits (optional)

Cook bacon, drain, crumble and set aside. Using bacon grease in skillet, add water, sugar and vinegar. Bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Mix well and pour over cabbage. Add additional bacon bits if desired. Best if served warm. Serves 4 people.

A Note From Dad to All

Results from my blood draw to day were all positive excepr my white cells were low. This means I have to stay away from any possible situation where some type of infection may occur.None of my cancer results show anything to be concerned about.

I also had test for my primary Doctor. i do not have those results. Next week i get another blood draw and on Friday the 2nd of Oct. I will have the cat scan made to determine what progress i am making or not making on the cancer growth.

My attitude is good and right now I have no concerns. elmer

2nd Chemo Treatment for Dad

I sent this note to my cousin Teresa today.  It totally describes Dad's and my day yesterday.
Dad had his second treatment Wednesday. I was in Columbus Wednesday night and all day yesterday. Here's how bad it was - we had homemade sausage for breakfast - Dad makes his own. Someone from the church came at 10 to bring communion. I worked on his computer some. We went to lunch at an Irish pub. We went to Walgreens, Giant Eagle, back to Walgreens, the farmer's market, home, and back to Walgreens. I was exhausted, he was fine. After dinner, I was ready to go to bed, not make the 2 hour drive home!


He isn't getting nausea, and he isn't loosing his hair. He has a few small problems - but he's a busy guy!
 
I forgot to mention we changed the sheets on his bed, made hot slaw for dinner, and fixed pickled beets.
 
Here's a funny story about communion.  When Dad was about to receive communion, the lady from church asked if I would like communion also.  She said she only had 1 host, so we'd have to share.  Dad asked me - and I said in a teasing way - "It depends, if you don't want to share I'll wait until Sunday".  Dad said to the lady - "She'll wait until Sunday".  He wasn't sharing his Jesus with anybody. 

The Weekend

This weekend Ty and Leah were over on Saturday evening and Sunday.  Leah did some gardening for me - took a huge basket down to the garden and picked tomatos and cucumbers.  I had to take pictures of her outfit.  Saturday evening we had a campfire with the neighbors.  Sunday I took the kids to their first CCD class, and then shopping, and home to watch the Bengals and play outside.  A fun filled, and exhausting for me, weekend.

Ty mugs for the camera

Leah in the gardenTomatos!

Words of Wisdon

I read these word today and wanted to keep them in my heart:
"God calls us to big things sometimes, I realized. Bigger than we would ever choose for ourselves. Again and again, He might allow us to be tossed about and thrown helplessly onto the shore. But our job is not to control the waves -- only to ride them. To trust. To let go. And to know that through it all, He holds us."
From "Riding the Wave" by Danielle Bean

Visit With Dad

Joe and I went to Columbus today to visit with Carolyn and Dad. Dad was feeling good - although you can see from the pictures that his Florida blood is still in force. He's drinking "Muscle Milk" something Matt tells us is popular with all the sports stars.

 

Joe doesn't look too excited - but he and Dad were watching Joe's Alma Mater - Elder - playing football on ESPN - and they won!

Football Practice

Thursday night the Bengals played in town, so Julie and Curt went to the game and I took Ty (and Leah) to football practice.  Afterwards we had ice cream, a shower, an hour of TV, a toothbrushing, a prayer, and bedtime.  In that order.

Ty's Football Game

Dad's First Report

Hi everybody !!


am still doing great and feeling good especially after today's report

The nurse said my white count was low but not as low as expected. This mean the chemo chemicles are attacking the cancer cells and not the good white cells. after today my wite cells should build back up and will get another report next week.

thanks for your concern and prayers

elmer

A Note from Dad after his Chemo Training

hi everybody !

Not much new going on for me yet. I had an orienteering session yesterday with some lab test. found out what my future with the chemo will be like. If I respond well it will be ok if not they will change the treatment. Results could be real good or real bad. I will get blood tests weekly
to see how my body is responding to the treatments.

My visit to cinnamon cove is still not for certain. It depends on how I respond to the chemo

I found out the do's and dont's during the treatment period are very serious. If I cough and get something on my shirt I have to put the shirt in a double zip lock bag immediately. If I get something on the floor I have to put on rubber gloves and wash the floor where I deposited some dropping. I also have to wear rubber gloves. I think I might glow in the dark.

elmer

Dad - It's getting ready to start

From Carolyn's note today - "We will be at ZM (Zangmeister) center at 8:30 A for what I call Chemo 101 and a Patient Advocacy discussion with other cancer patients. Dad says he ready to get started."

A Blueberry Pie

This weekend - amidst the craziness of 120 ears of corn, I also made my first Blueberry Pie. We were too tired to cut it, though - so desert is ready for tonight!

Corn Corn Corn

This weekend Les and I put up (froze) 10 dozen ears of corn (minus 4 we had for dinner).

We had 5 dozen Bi-Color and 5 dozen white -

because I couldn't decide what kind I wanted when the person at the farmers' market asked me the question.

Soaking in water to make shucking easier.

Bowls and bowls of corn.

The corn cutting station

Thank God for Les!

The pile of husks

Half of the final product - total 40+ bags of corn.